It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
