I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
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Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
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I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.