Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.

(303): View more from Colorado

She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye

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(303): You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake. (303): She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye http://tfl.nu/k1ky

Replies (4) Good night (1320) Bad night (528)
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(440): View more from Ohio

We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.

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(440): We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night. http://tfl.nu/4khi

Replies (34) Good night (4558) Bad night (742)
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(212): View more from New York

You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.

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(212): You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido. http://tfl.nu/8t44

Replies (36) Good night (1153) Bad night (5151)
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(972): View more from Texas

They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.

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(972): They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas. http://tfl.nu/lamz

Replies (41) Good night (4637) Bad night (7485)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.

(402): View more from Nebraska

Update, its a couple

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(402): On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho. (402): Update, its a couple http://tfl.nu/mrbp

Replies (16) Good night (6701) Bad night (1052)
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(514): View more from Quebec

I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.

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(514): I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case. http://tfl.nu/sce4

Replies (5) Good night (1193) Bad night (4036)
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(509): View more from Washington

We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.

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(509): We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade. http://tfl.nu/xjtk

Replies (6) Good night (4417) Bad night (867)
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(303): View more from Colorado

its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn

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(303): its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn http://tfl.nu/fhqp

Replies (12) Good night (2836) Bad night (1260)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be

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(717): We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be http://tfl.nu/zpkd

Replies (0) Good night (1154) Bad night (564)
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(914): View more from New York

I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%

(1-914): View more from New York

He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal

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(914): I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85% (1-914): He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal http://tfl.nu/wtvm

Replies (15) Good night (2326) Bad night (922)
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(406): View more from Montana

I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?

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(406): I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete? http://tfl.nu/gioo

Replies (9) Good night (2141) Bad night (773)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?

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(780): In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared." (1-780): Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout? http://tfl.nu/ziqx

Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (293)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.

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(250): Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket. http://tfl.nu/g0f2

Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (816)
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(360): View more from Washington

Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?

(208): View more from Idaho

You need southern Jesus

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(360): Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up? (208): You need southern Jesus http://tfl.nu/52rp

Replies (3) Good night (880) Bad night (328)
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(917): View more from New York City

You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.

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(917): You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude. http://tfl.nu/0uba

Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (265)

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