she was so not down for the gang bang
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
you made out with another girl for some wings
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way