Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
