Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
