Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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