I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
