Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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