She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
