I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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