Only a mothe r could love this liver
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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