It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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