"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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