my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Semen is not good for contacts.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
