i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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