The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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