all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Floor bacon is actually really good
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
