Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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