don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
