so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
