the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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