Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
