if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Lo siento on account of my penis...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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