I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
