i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
