I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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