Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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