can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
