ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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