So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
