oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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