whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
