Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
