If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
