right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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