White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
