Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
