wanna go halves on a baby?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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