Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
