We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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