guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
