Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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