I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
