gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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