It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
