Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Randomize
