We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
