Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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