sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
