She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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