They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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