we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
