It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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