yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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