How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
