The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My hand turned me down
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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