did you get engaged???
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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