It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
