Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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