I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize