I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
