Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
