I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
