I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
wow bdsm is so cute
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
