Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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