I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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